Saturday, December 10, 2005
had been a long time since i update new post.. quite busy recently.. gosh.. i got so mani things to do n remember..had been nejelcting some of my friens.. so sowwie.. tee hee..currently on hands are BBQ on mondae(so mani stuff to buy).. design of NPCC unit shirt.. proposal.. SANA course project..gotta pack my room.... haven finish paintin moii room either.. haven wrap books, have n revise work.. got junior NCO course on da last 3daes.. got drum practice comin up.. got drum performance this month,... got a drum camp.. needa buy christmas present.. needa help on mummy stall ..haven finish homework. haven got the plans for mass camp.. haven finish readin my books. still have to go return to library... WTF.. nuts man.. hehe.. the best thing to do when u are stress up is to quiet sittin down at a cool place. n close your ryes. even if the troubles came in your mind. watch it come n watch it go.. think of a solution.. n make plans.. tats wat i learn from da book.. some sort of meditation.. does it help? a little i guess.. hehe.. read more books n learn more things.. books on self improvement are great. nice to read.. not so borin la.. abt sian sian i knoe. in life. watever u do or watever u learn. it is always an experience gain. dun hab to regret.. n yuppies.. read more books. i love to learn abt earth stuff.. or space like light years? quite interested in light years.. haha.. can browse cook books n whip up some dishes. gee.not bad. . no matter wat. u will learn something.. okies. i m so busy.. i gtg n do my proposal . haha. no time crappin here..n ya.. sth i got da sae.. i live for myself. wat ever u do. it doesnt matter whether ppl jugde u in the point of view u dun like... it onli concern your frens n family. can sae tat we live for ourselves n frens n family.. dun have to bother wat ppl think. jus ask them fuck off n eat shit. wahaha.. insane girl brain is spoil.. to stress.. haha. take care everybody.. wonder who will read my rubbish post. wahahhahaha
Loved at 1:19 AM
Saturday, November 26, 2005
my previous post would be gone after sometime. is tat true?? haishais.todae felt quite ok..few daes back again. dunno y felt so moody all the time. hais so mani things undone. i have been wasting time... wonder here n there. now 1 month is gone.. haven pack my room.. clear my stuff.. haven buy books, haven paint my room.. hais. wat a messy life. i wanna quickly finish clearin everythin n start studyin n relax at home. enough of play i think... haha.. i m wastin my holidae times. wat a waste....... hais. stupid girl..
TO sec2F ppl... your chairman misses u so much.. a perfect class i ever had. so rare... we had nvr
sobotage anyone..we had nvr laugh at each other. we had nvr look down on each other. we work together throughout the year together. as a chairman.. i might not be good enough. but there is always your help..u attend meetings for me, u took care of the class for me.. u help me when i was down..simply the greatest classmates i ever had.we got a perfect form teacher. .. everyone is nice n loving. we party together .we play together.we cry n study together.i remember all the times.. we had parties.. we went to beach.. we went fishing... we swim. we eat together..almost everythin .we were so cooperative.. i never had to turn u to Mr Neo.. cos u all are too great.. u listen to me.. n respect me... i realie wanna thanks all of u for helpin me.. i love u all so much tat i believe.in my future life.. no other classes or bunch of buddies can replaced u ... u are jus too great to be true..2F .. i love u whole heartly.. n mr soh too ..thank u......
Loved at 5:20 AM
Friday, November 25, 2005
some ppl sae a dead end is a new beginin.. is tat true huh? nice n cool weather this few daes.. hais.. i ask myself again n again . y m i always so clumsy n confuse.. what is there to worried abt ? i dunno.. hais hais.. ppl always sae tat suicide dun solve the matter.. but i dun agree.. if u die.. u left. den u got no more problems.. yea.. sometimes. is greaat.. wahah.. is bad to have this kind of thoughts.. but.. hais. me.. a messy girl. always have troubles here n ther.. n stupid girl.. real stupid one. i dunno how to handle things... i hate myself.. so clumsy n stupid. yea? haishais. wat a rubbish world.. hate n hate. full of hatred.. rubbish indeed!! wat should i do ? always tot of everythin tat happen. i m so emotional.. hais hais.. little things can burn me up.. i get real upset of little things. wats wrong? can anyone tell me?why? always cant relax myself.. when trouble came. i jus get so stress up.. i tot of suicide more den solving it. stupid me arent i? .. haishais. aint beautiful world... if one dae.. somethin happen again. n i cant take it.. confirm i know.. i suicide.>.<..it might be too bad rite? but. i m scare.. to leave alone.. i dunno where would i go.. haishais.hais n hais.. all i can do is hais.. beautiful dreams i have. interior designer? fashion designer. . hairstylish. police?teacher? ... air stewardess.. lots n lots.. but. hais.. i find it i cant reach tat stage.. i love to study. y not? studyin is fun.. i love so much to gain knowlegde. n skills too. learn n learn. i love it.. nah.. but i dun like to read books. it makes me feel wanna yawn.. den wat ? slp la. of cos.. haha. tats why .. aint no perfect english again.. poor in maths when facing stupid teachers.. rubbish life indeed. messy in everythin.. or issiz the lack of guideness? (is there such word??nvm..haha. i think so.)i always believe in myself. someone independant .. but the truth is. i m fallin apart. whom should i listen to ? .. i m so envy of ppl whom have a nice family.. parents whom take great care of the child.. hey shan.. complain n complain. i m so bad girl. my dad work so hard. yet i complain n complain.. but. was it wrong to envy others family ? how nice when u got a mum to cook for u .. will i ever have this kind of happiness once more? never i guess.. it makes no different whether she exsist in this world. but i do love her of cos.. maybe. she never do her part as a mum. u see.. there i go again. complain abt my parents again. wat a bad child.. slap me man. i m so bad.. sobsob.. there is definately ppl whom are poorer n suffer more den me.. i always tell others n myself.. somehow a word of comfort n to pull yourself up.. hey.. dun worry so much. wat ever happen. is a gain experienced. well . jus 80yrs. more or less.. jus life. duun worry be happie.. always tryin to tell this to others. but. .. i cant think myself tat way.. my god.. my blog.. my frens .. my family.. i m tellin u this.. i realie tried my best.. i tell myself not to cry. i tell myself i can do it.. but i cant. i m realie helpless.. everyone have their weakness... ppl always think tat i m strong..independant. is truth i do things myself. i study. my parents dun have to worry. ppl think i m mature enough. they think i have leadership qualities. my creativity of ideas.. tell ya wat.. is all bullshit la.. i m useless n stupid.. simply brainless.. i cant handle anythin..onli somethin i can handle. my class.. as a classchairman. my nice little classmates.sweet n nice.. easy to handle. but.. maybe not. after all. i m stupid.. duh.. stupiddd little fellow.. i guess no body is readin my blog.. wat the fuck is happenin to me.. depress everydae. continue like this.. i would suicide soon.. horrify with this world.. n the past. nightmare fills me.. yea yea.they always sae tat past.. is the past. forget it.. n move forward. fuck lor.. where got so easy forget.. rubbish ... I M FALLING APART>>HELP!!!
Loved at 3:17 AM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
long time never update my blog le.. sian... tot of the ATC camp all nite.. although it was tough.. but it left me with wonderful memories.. cos all the activities n group 6 ppl was so fun.. i love ya all!!! russel? iswandi?henry? margret? king kong? haha.. jiajie.. nice guy ar.. he is such a joker.. fills me with joy n laughter throughout the camp.. so happie tat i get a chance to knoe all thearea5 ppl.. cOOL!! but.. there is one girl in group7.. n she simply sucks like hell.. the FAT PIG... she took our rations n ask me do so much things.. bloody bitch.. haha.. we hate her rite? like wat zi xun sae.. stuff the cucumber into her @#$%%^...... hahah.. wat the fcuk.. haha.. i remember how guoming scold the sir.. sir ask him.. u not happie issiz? den he shout at him.. YES SIR! haha.. no disipiline cadets.. wahahahah.the sirs n m'am can be unreasonable at times. cant help it also.wahaha.. holidae is bored.. i dunno how to spend my time.. i had wasted lots of time doin nth but playin.. dec is time for me to study !! quickly run through my text books n prepare well for next year.. tats it bah.. i coulden get a job also.. aiya.. dun do la.. play n study can le.. dots... k k . take care everyone!!!! sayonara
with love <3>
Loved at 12:00 PM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
it had been a long time since i update moii blog..kinnda busy .. hais.. next year i in 3H.. not much friends there .. nvm la.. is ok bah.. although alot naughty ppl there.. hmm.. holidae two months leh .. quite long ar.. yawn.. yesterdae de yesterdae nite, went out with moii friends. to town.. halloween nite leh .. den went to MS find moii frien.. went to play pool.. old changi hospital..(so scary sia).. went punngol end pinic.. went alot places.. sit in their car watch movie. nice show sia.. play till mornin. till afternoon i suppose.. yawn.. den yesterdae slp whole dae.. haha.. yea. tml goin out with catherine.. go town.. never endin fun... wahaha.. look happie de me but actuaali inside is like shit.. thunderstormm sia. hais.. dun talk abt it le la.. dun u find life borin? we gotta study... work .. play? play also not tat fun sia.. even if u go outt of this country to japan or somewhere it is still like tat onli.. or even if u go space .yes... cool.. but.. after all u gonna go back here n work n study for the rest of your life.. when u get old.. u can retired le.. but. so old le also nth to enjoy liao .. onli wait to die lor.. life so sian .. i livin in here 14 years le. arl so dammm sian ..hais.. wonder wats life in future.. so damm sick studyin . hais.. borin life.. SIAN!!! but... i haven enjoy enough vodka n clubbin... wahha.. no point also .. life is stupid..
Loved at 3:53 PM
Monday, October 10, 2005
..... gee...maths is over..scienece is over.. phew.. left with lit n Dnt.. kampateh!!!!! the science paper was so easy.. i can close moii eyes n do it... haha.. i tot the 100 marks gonna be my..but.. i made two mistake... 1 mark for the first n half mark for the 2nd..hais..maybe till can get 90 plus..as for maths... think wil fail bah... section b even after i finish.. i estimate the marks onli maximum can get is 22/50..... failed.. sectionA i left around 6 qn n i onli do abt less than half the paper onli.... the time so little.. forget abt it.. no matter happened, i always tell myself tat i m not gonna give up....but..... hais.. i still can do the qn....
Yesterday(sundae) i studied frm noon when i woke up till the next dae.. at 12,i ate lunch n start .studyin..all the dae till 6pm... i went for dinner.. rush the food n nearly shocked.. 7pm,i study again..with no breaks.. n i realie meant tat sittin down without doin any other stuff.. jus study. till 11pm.. i felt tired.. i rest abt 5mins to drink coffee n take vitamin pills for energy of cos.. n i continued..till 4.30am.. i began to feel uncomfortable.. when the clock strike 5, i was total nuts in the brain...... i cry lookin at the paper.. i have so many more chapters but i left with onli a few hours n i needa hurry to sch.. i pack my stuff,took a bathe n went to sch... i bot red bull too.. energy giving drink.so damm sweet lor.. drank it at sch..
After sch, we went to heartland(peisi,qiaoweii,jiaxin,bingsen,eugene,me) n had lunch n decided to go sentosa.. crazy us.. after we reach farrer park, some of them wanted to go somewhere else.. so we went to dhoby ghuat..den takashimaya..den far east... such a tired dae without slpin... anyway.. alot ppl got sore eyes in my class.. dunno why.. qiao wei got..bing sen got..zhixiang got... peisi got... jiaxin also got.. n worst still..dion got dengue fever.. oh man.. pls take good care of yourself.... dun be like a kid... ppl.. exams may cause with stress n result to sick so u all should know it n eat more healty food... ya.. dun eat too much fried food.eat more veg n fruits....well..2f...stay healthy.. i love u all.. *muackies*
remember the times remember the day
u sat beside me n told me u would stay
i look at u ,i look into sky
i knew we would score n show me shine
i told myself i listen closely
forever doesnt exsist treasure is the only mean
i feel the hurt,i looked in the mirror
i knew i remember the times of day
the days we play,the days we cry
memories in me never dies
we have to go,we have to grow
but we will meet again if we go
so with no worries the hurt shall perish
we stood up like how we use to be
i shout to u n u have to knoe
2f i nvr regret having u ........
yanshan
Loved at 9:52 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
phew....still got some exams left...sian.. dun mind studying science.... teacher said tat the maths paper is veri difficult. she wanted to see who are the better ones to go for A.math.... ? i think so.. crazy fellow.. she always purposly set so difficult de..wah piang..... tat time mid year one also... freak man.. maths is so damm sickening.....she made mi hate it....i m worried for maths n litertuare.... chinese exam had finished..so is eng n geography n all the compo.. i believe i did quite well or ok for these....but.. lit n maths.. i got no confidence at all..cant be confident ..i dun understan the stupid stories n stupid fomula... sian.... hack care la.... open one eye close one eye...anyhow agar agar can le... yummy..agar agar nice to eat..haha... we gotta face the music..gosh....yup...stop talking abt exams man... wa ha.. moii throat is getting better.. but still got phelgm... or phlegm? how do i spell it...oh. nvm....i believe is it the fault of the "honey" cough syrup.... are u asking me to drink sugar? it was soooooo sweet... the chinese de..chuan pei pi pa gao...useless medince..the dad of mine force me to drink it!! eeuukk... i dun like it ...nvm.. is arl digested in my stomach...haha..anyway ..yesterday saw mr soh twin bro..haha..they are identical... almost the same voice ..same hair.. the way they walk.. dressing.is all the same! ! haha...so funny.. jiaxin..peisi n qiaowei laugh like mad .. ha.. so funny..wonder how is he like.. i think mr soh is better bah..he is the best of all!!! hehe... *cough cough*.. after exam gonna excercise more.. growing fatter..less drum trainin+less nppc+less P.E+more sch work+more exam+less excercise= FATS!! beri long time nvr eat ice cream n chocolate liao..other snacks too... i have watchin moii diet with more fruits n vegs but.. sick in the end.. n still fat.....hais..... feel like eatting chocolates... hehe
Loved at 6:01 PM
